Has anyone ever told you that you acted just like your father and then all of a sudden you felt a knot in your stomach? Or, have you ever gotten into an argument with a significant other and in mid-sentence realized that your parents used to fight the same way? Don't worry, we all have.
There are things about our parents that we stray away from and avoid like the black plague, and that's ok. You don't have to be angry like your father was or emotionally detached like your mother. In fact, you don't have to be any other way than the way you desire.
No matter what your story has been, take the opportunity to re-write it in a way that allows you to be freed from the past and more in control of the present. You have the power to let go of the learned behaviors and choose better ones that create a healthier life and happier you.
How? Begin by writing down unfavorable attributes from your parents, painful memories from your childhood, and anything that has had a negative hold on how you behave currently.
Now, ask yourself if any of these characteristics are serving a purpose. Are they leading to a happy and fulfilling life? If not, release them. Forgive those in the past that have hurt you and shed the shadow they have cast over you. Forgive yourself for any blame that you may be carrying. Release all of these negativities like they are heavy shopping bags filled with useless bricks.
Lastly, write down all the memories that keep you strong, all the traits from family members that leave you feeling righteous, and write down the personal qualities that make you unique and proud. Allow these already existing yet undermined positive characteristics to take precedent.
Our pasts may never be forgotten however, we can acknowledge and then we can decide, which parts of our past will have control over us. Do not feel ashamed for what happened to you and for how people treated you. It is time to regain control and re-write a story that leads to a better you. Yes, this will always be your past but your past does NOT have to define who you are now. It does NOT have to control your emotions and every day interactions with others. Your past does NOT have to overpower your present.